On Monday, President Donald Trump issued a set of coronavirus guidelines for all Americans to follow, starting immediately. The document, called “15 Days to Slow the Spread” advised that older people should stay at home, urged everyone to avoid unnecessary travel, shopping outings or social gatherings, and, of course, it said that we should all continue to wash our hands.
What those guidelines failed to mention is that, before washing your hands, you should probably double-check to ensure that you’re actually using a bar of soap and not, um, a piece of cheese.
A Reddit user named u/lionellrichie posted a picture of herself holding a solid orange block near the kitchen sink, presumably after giving her hands a good wash. “Just realized my soap wasn’t working because it’s literally a block of cheese,” she wrote.
She said that the cheese had been left out on the counter and had dried out, so it was an easy (???) mistake to make. She also pointed out that it wasn’t even her own dried-out dairy product. “I am housesitting and high as hell,” she wrote. “Let me breathe smh.”
Some of the commenters made dad jokes about the cheese, some suggested that she should probably see if she’d confused any other items in the house (“Check your wallet for lettuce”), and because it’s the internet, others just wanted to tell her that she had nice feet.
She’s not the only person to recently fail the “Is It Soap?” test. Thomas, an American who stayed in The Pink House Bed & Breakfast in Portree, Scotland, rated the property a nine out of 10, but he did have one complaint. “You have got to do something with that brown tablet bar of soap you put on each of our beds,” he wrote on Booking.com. “Not only was it gritty and left an oily residue but disintegrated before the shower was done! I have had much better exfoliating bar scrubs.”
He attached a photo of the soap in question, which was actually Mrs. Tilly’s Tablet, a brand of Scottish confection. Yes, Thomas washed himself with a piece of candy. “While we are delighted to see our Famous Scottish Tablet as an in-room treat in a guest house in the beautiful Skye, we would like to remind everyone that it is best to eat the deliciously indulgent sweet treat, using it as soap isn’t one of our serving suggestions,” Mrs. Tilly’s tweeted.
After Thomas’ mistake, the Kingsmills Hotel in Inverness has added a warning to its own in-room candy plates. “This Scottish tablet is to be eaten and not used to clean yourself in the shower,” its neatly typed placard reads.
So yeah, please keep washing your hands (and bodies). Just maybe double-check that you’re using real soap first.