While some people vow to work out more and others give up alcohol, what about spicing up your sex life as a 2020 goal? Everyone deserves to have a fulfilling sex life and no one should be faking orgasms in this day and age. So, here’s how to have better sex in 2020, according to the experts.
Sex or sexual pleasure may not be all that high up on your priorities list. However, Ruby Stevenson, the education manager at sex education platform Brook, argues it should be. She explains: “the choices you make in your sexual life can make a big impact on your whole wellbeing. It’s a reflection of who you are, and being able to express that openly and without shame (from yourself or anyone else) can really help to boost self confidence in other areas of your life.”
Ashley Resch, a sex positivity and fitness Instagram influencer and model, agrees, saying: “women should prioritise sexual pleasure the same way we prioritise eating and sleeping. Enjoying a healthy and satisfying sex life is a necessity, it’s self-care. If you treat your sexual pleasure as you would any other priority in life, it’ll be part of your normal routine and something that makes you feel great.”
If you’re ready to live out your new years resolution of better sex, Stevenson has some tips on how to get started. “Whether it’s solo or partnered sex, carve out time in your day to really enjoy the sex you’re having. It can be easy to squeeze in sex at the end of a busy day, and while there’s nothing wrong with that, blocking out two hours in your calendar to really take your time easing into a sexual mindset and give yourself permission to explore can feel like a very different experience,” she suggests. Adding: “It’s also fun to think of some sexual new year’s resolutions, as a way to reflect on the sex you’re having and encourage yourself to explore things you’ve always been curious to try.”
If you’re looking to shake up your sex life with a partner, trying out new things and being able to say what you are and aren’t into into can help open a healthy dialogue. Peter Saddington, sex and relationship therapist from Relate says, “start slowly. Just talk about the things that you like and the things you’ve enjoyed in the past. Sometimes looking at books or material together so you’re using what’s around you to introduce the conversation rather than you bringing it up yourself.”
There’s no perfect formula when it comes to creating a great sexual experience with someone. However, Gunner Taylor, a Sexpert from AdultFriendFinder tells me having your desires recognised and understood is crucial. He explains, “to have a healthy sex life, the first step is acknowledging your wants and needs, and then you can connect with others, or fit into a community, that accepts these wants and needs.”
It seems truly good sex comes down to feeling confident in yourself and your desires, and being able to share them free from judgement. So here’s to learning about what feels good for you and owning it in 2020.